And you can see how this can grow into a problem! According to Strauss, because of human biology, learning to become a good pick-up artist is not that much more difficult than learning to become, say, a good tennis player!
And acquiring enough skill may get you in the heart — or, rather, pants! Including Britney Spears. However, skill presupposes routine. And routine means repeating.
And, as Neil Strauss found out, the more PUGs there are results in less girls for themselves as well. He found this the hard way: he tried creating the Hollywood Project, a shared living space for PUGs where girls would come because of their reputation.
Not with love. By the way, did we mention that Neil Strauss, a treated sex addict, is currently a married father?
Like this summary? The first edition of the novel was published in December 18th , and was written by Neil Strauss. The book was published in multiple languages including English, consists of pages and is available in Paperback format. The main characters of this non fiction, self help story are ,. The book has been awarded with , and many others. Please note that the tricks or techniques listed in this pdf are either fictional or claimed to work by its creator.
We do not guarantee that these techniques will work for you. Some of the techniques listed in Rules of the Game may require a sound knowledge of Hypnosis, users are advised to either leave those sections or must have a basic understanding of the subject before practicing them. DMCA and Copyright : The book is not hosted on our servers, to remove the file please contact the source url. If you see a Google Drive link instead of source url, means that the file witch you will get after approval is just a summary of original book or the file has been already removed.
And Why? Why do we sound so dramatic? For example, Ross Jeffries. After all, the guys guaranteed them an orgasm through hypnosis! And it works like this: Obviously, it starts with you finding a girl you like to have sex with.
The book has been awarded with , and many others. Please note that the tricks or techniques listed in this pdf are either fictional or claimed to work by its creator. We do not guarantee that these techniques will work for you. Some of the techniques listed in Rules of the Game may require a sound knowledge of Hypnosis, users are advised to either leave those sections or must have a basic understanding of the subject before practicing them.
DMCA and Copyright : The book is not hosted on our servers, to remove the file please contact the source url. If you see a Google Drive link instead of source url, means that the file witch you will get after approval is just a summary of original book or the file has been already removed.
In short, good sex is even better for women than it is for us. You survived Day 1. To quote J. Be as specific and ambitious as possible. Examples of accomplishments include starting a band, buying a house, getting in shape, launching a business, becoming president.
What three accomplishments would you like to achieve to make you happier? What are the reasons these accomplishments will make you happier? What is your personal mission? I will have 2. I will have 3. I will have 5. Why are you now fully committed to pursuing your personal mission? After you download it, find a comfortable place free of distraction. Dim the lights, take off your shoes, and sit or lie down. Then put on headphones, play the audio, and take the journey. Make sure you listen to the entire recording without interruption.
Try to listen to the recording every other day during the Challenge: The more you repeat it, the better the result. Record his or her eye color in the space below: 1. In the first small-talk exercise, the purpose was to develop the ability to talk to anyone without fear. The reason will be made clear tomorrow. But for now: Do not shower today. Do not shave today. Chances are, no one will notice—most people are too busy worrying about how they look.
In a loud club, it made meeting women practically impossible. So I went to a vocal coach named Arthur Joseph. There are five common speech mistakes people make.
These errors are outlined, along with an exercise for each, in your Day 3 Briefing. You may be surprised. Your task is to dial a local number randomly on your telephone. When someone answers, try to get him or her to recommend a good movie. This skill will help you take control of conversations in real life and direct them toward the outcome you want. A few hints: Rather than just dialing random strings of seven-digit numbers, look through a residential telephone book and select numbers at random.
Or use the first three digits in your own number and make up the last four digits. Well, maybe I can quickly ask you this instead. Is this Moviefone? Well, would you mind quickly recommending a movie to watch tonight? Have you seen anything good lately? One magic word you can use is because. Understand and begin to integrate your new attributes and self-image. The Basics There are two factors that make all the difference between a good orator and a bad one: breath and posture.
Breathing deeply before you speak fills your lungs with air, allowing you to give full power to your words. If your chest expands, your breathing is too shallow. Try it again until your diaphragm—the sheet of muscle beneath your rib cage—expands.
To check this, place your hand on your stomach to make sure it rises with each inhalation. Bad posture can restrict your diaphragm and breathing, effectively neutering your vocal power. Whenever you speak, make sure that your upper body is straight and aligned. If necessary, use the technique of imagining a string running from the bottom of your spine to the top of your head and then pulling it taut.
Bring an audio recorder, a trusted friend, or both. Take a deep breath from your diaphragm. Hold it, then slowly exhale. Take two more deep breaths. Return to the same position and recite the same line. This time, instead of speaking to your friend or the recorder, aim your voice at a spot six to ten feet above. Imagine your voice is a football, traveling a wide arc to make a field goal.
Afterward, check the results for improvement. Take another three steps away. Remember to send your voice in a high arc, past the listener. See how far away you can stand and still be heard clearly without shouting. So if you normally talk at a 5, from now on take it up to a 7. A calm, slow voice commands authority.
For this exercise, sit up straight in front of your audio recorder or computer microphone. Take a deep breath. Most likely, cramming a run-on sentence into one breath worsened your enunciation and caused you to swallow some words.
Now inhale and say the same line. But this time, make the pace exaggeratedly slow and deliberate; leave excruciatingly long pauses between phrases; pronounce each word carefully; and take a breath more often than you feel you need to. Then listen to the recording.
This is going to feel unnatural at first, but stick with it until you find a comfortable and clear speaking pace that captures the attention of others. Repeat the run-on sentence several more times in front of a mirror until you get used to your new speaking pace. So make sure you monitor yourself, and take a breath and slow down as soon as you catch yourself speed talking.
Just like turning up the volume on your voice, it may take a while for your inner ear to get used to this change. Whether or not you know what a brain fart is, try this exercise before reading any further: Record yourself speaking with a friend.
Play back the recording and carefully transcribe the first few sentences. Make sure you write down every single word you say. Do you notice the words um or uh anywhere? These are known as pausers, or brain farts. But do you know what message these pausers actually send to others? The fact is, the way you communicate makes more of an impression than what you say. Now listen to ten minutes of the conversation you recorded.
Write down every pauser you say, then read them out loud unless the sheet is blank, in which case you should apply for work as a newscaster immediately. From now on, slow down and consciously choose each word when speaking. The secret to eliminating pausers—and to breaking most other bad habits—is to become self-correcting.
In other words, listen to yourself when you speak. If you notice a brain fart, stop, correct yourself, and repeat the sentence without the pauser. It may also help to carry your list of pausers with you, as a reminder to monitor your speech for these small signifiers of insecurity. Read it out loud into your audio recorder now: Leopold Elfin had a problem: His nose whistled.
Every time he breathed through his nose, out came a note. Not the quiet hiss that occasionally issues from the hoary nostrils of men three times his age, but a loud, shrill shriek like a crossing guard blowing for traffic to stop.
Maybe it was his pinched septum, his narrow oval nostrils, or the crook at the bridge of his nose that was responsible for his one social impropriety. Now play back the recording. If possible, listen to it with a friend or family member to get a more objective opinion.
Or do you have a monotone voice, the kind that listeners tend to tune out? Find a male host, comedian, or other broadcaster with a dynamic voice that you like.
Listen to him speak. Pay attention to every detail and nuance that make his voice compelling. Notice how he is present in the material, how his voice rings with energy, warmth, and immediacy.
Next, try repeating what he says, using exactly his words, tone, and style. Read it again into the recorder, using the techniques you just learned. Experiment with changing the volume, pitch, speed, timbre, rhythm, and flow of your voice as you read. Compare this new version to your original version—and discover the great storyteller lurking inside you. For your final vocal exercise, imagine that the audio recorder is your friend. Your goal is to convince him to try sushi with you tonight.
Listen carefully. Does your voice rise in pitch at the end of any declarative sentences? And that makes you seem unsure of yourself. Persuasive speakers end their sentences—and their argument—conclusively.
If your statements end in a higher pitch than they started, record the same speech again. This time, be firm. Instead of asking questions that beg for affirmation, make definitive statements that demonstrate your conviction. If you catch yourself backsliding, correct yourself immediately.
Shower, shampoo, and soap thoroughly. Wash twice if you want. Put something scented on your body: moisturizer, talcum powder, or a light spritz of cologne.
Gargle with mouthwash. Whatever makes you feel and smell good. Then shave your face clean preserving any preexisting mustache, beard, or goatee. Make sure you shave or tweeze any stray places where you sprout hair—your ears, nostrils, the back of your neck.
Put on clean, well-fitting clothing. You should feel like a million dollars. People love you and respect you. You radiate charisma, charm, and grace. You stand out from everyone around you. Talking to you is a privilege. And you deserve the best the world has to offer. It may involve exercising, cleaning, repeating affirmations, reading something inspirational, replaying previous successes in your mind, blasting your favorite music, singing, showering, dancing, calling someone who makes you laugh, or any combination of the above.
You should make these approaches at the earliest possible opportunity after leaving the house clean, well shaven, and feeling good about yourself.
Your mission: Ask three women to recommend a cool local clothing store that carries menswear. When you get a recommendation, write down the name of the store, and the location if she knows it.
Make sure you keep the name and location handy. Here are a few tips: Approach women who seem like they live in town and have a cool sense of style.
Either approach them from the front, or walk ahead of them and turn your head back over your shoulder as you keep walking. Be aware that only about 1 in 3 women will be able to think of a store right away. Some people go blank when put on the spot. Or continue the interaction. The choice is yours.
Good luck. And that impression is based largely on your body language. Stand with your back against a wall. Make sure your heels, butt, and shoulders are touching the wall.
In addition, the back of your head just above the level of your chin should be against the wall. Remain in this position for a minute. If there is, tighten your abdomen to bring the small of your back closer to the wall. Now move away from the wall, and walk around the room for a minute without changing your posture.
Commit the position and alignment of your body to memory. Repeat this exercise one more time today and, if possible, once a day throughout the Challenge. From now on, check your posture on a regular basis, and bring yourself into alignment if you catch yourself slouching.
It provides the basics on Alexander Technique, a school of movement that improves not just the way you stand, walk, and sit but also the way you speak and feel about yourself. When men discuss attraction skills, they often act as if looks are the only variable out of their control, perhaps because they feel that appearance is genetic. Not true.
Just as any girl can slim down, get breast implants, and dye her hair blonde to turn heads, any guy can become good looking. In the same way you can learn openers, routines, and confidence, you can learn looks. Your assignment is to read the grooming checklist in your Day 5 Briefing.
Then perform at least one task on the checklist. The second is committing to the right style. Thus, your mission today is to get a free style consultation. If possible, avoid large chains. Choose a small independent store instead. Tell her you want to change your style, and ask her to put together a complete outfit for you.
Change into the new outfit and observe yourself in the mirror. Though the style of the clothing matters, a perfect fit is more important.
If you truly detest the clothing, tell her why and ask her to put together another outfit. If you like the outfit and can afford it, buy it. If the clothes are beyond your means, remember the brands, sizes, and styles, so you can either buy them in the future, find equivalent items at a used-clothing store, or order them cheaper online.
If you choose to buy the outfit, ask the saleswoman where you can find a nice pair of shoes. At the shoe store, show an employee the outfit and ask for sharp shoes that match it. Try to review at least one of these fundamentals every day during the Challenge.
Choose at least one of the items on this list and make the suggested change. Not all of these tips will apply to everyone. Some are overly remedial; others are extremely meticulous. Change your hairstyle. Bring the photo with you. Make sure you ask your hairstylist to recommend any hair product necessary to maintain your new look. Ditch the glasses. Get contacts or laser surgery. If your glasses complement your style, consider getting cool designer frames. Get tan. The quickest and easiest way to do this is to get a spray-tan at a tanning salon.
Make sure they use a relatively realistic-looking brand, like Mystic Tan. Get a manicure and pedicure. Go to any nail salon. Not only does this convey good grooming, but it will help you understand that the reason a woman pays attention to the small details on you is that she pays attention to those details on herself.
Remove excess hair. Get tweezers or a nose-hair trimmer, and remove any hair in your nostrils, between your eyebrows, in your ears, and on the back of your neck.
Examine yourself closely in a mirror. If possible, buy a magnifying mirror. Remove any visible ear wax with a Q-tip; tweeze any stray hairs; clip and clean your fingernails and toenails; and look for oily skin, dry skin, bags under your eyes, or other problem areas that require the use of specialized facial products.
Manage your eyebrows. Go to a spa or salon and get your eyebrows tweezed or waxed , and, optionally, dyed a slightly darker or lighter shade. Whiten your teeth. Buy an over-the-counter tooth whitening system, such as Crest Whitestrips, and begin using it tonight.
Freshen your breath. Start flossing daily. Consider getting a tongue scraper if halitosis is a problem. Buy gum or mints, and carry them with you at all times. Get free dermatology advice. Go to a department store cosmetics counter and ask the beautician what facial products she recommends for your skin type. Feel free to ask for samples or buy cheaper equivalents at a drugstore. If you consider your complexion to be a major liability, make an appointment to see a dermatologist.
Buy a necklace, rings, a bracelet, a wrist cuff, or any other tasteful accoutrement. Try not to get anything that looks too cheap and mass produced—even if it is. When in doubt, err on the side of wearing something simple for now. Join a gym. Make an appointment with a trainer to get a fitness evaluation and exercise regimen that includes both cardiovascular training to reduce fat and resistance training to increase muscle mass.
Make working out a borderline obsession. Eat healthier. Control your caloric intake and review your diet to limit saturated fats, refined sugars, excess salt, and food high in preservatives and carbohydrates. Eat fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. Make sure your clothes fit. Go through your closet and try on everything. If jackets drop off your shoulders, jeans droop off your butt, short sleeves stop at your elbows, or shirt necks hang down to your chest, either get the item tailored or donate it to a thrift store.
Commit to replacing these items with well-fitting clothes that best suit your build. You no longer have an excuse. Approach anxiety is a crippling disease that occurs when a man is confronted by the prospect of approaching an attractive woman. Symptoms include sweaty palms, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, and a lump in the throat.
If you hesitated before walking up to anyone during any of your field assignments so far, then you have approach anxiety. It happens to the best of us. If you developed a confidence boosting ritual on Day 4, do it. If you purchased any new items yesterday, put them on. Your mission: Give four women spontaneous compliments. Two of these women can be people you know—friends, coworkers, even your mother.
But two should be strangers. After spending time rigorously examining yourself yesterday, you should find it easier to spot and appreciate these details. The most common response will be a sincere, polite, or dismissive thank- you.
Leave after the compliment, unless she continues the conversation. That is the bottom line of bottom lines, courtesy of the California State Lottery. If you stay in your solipsistic cave, you will never form a new relationship. You must get out of the house and interact with new people.
Approach anxiety is a name for the internal demon that keeps men from talking to attractive strangers when there are no external barriers.
The Limiting Mind When we are born, nature installs two major instinctual fears to keep us safe: a fear of heights and a fear of loud noises. Fear in moderation is a good thing. It protects us from harm. For example, a fear of heights protects us from falling off cliffs.
A fear of loud noises enables us to react quickly to warnings of danger. However, most fears and limits we have are the result not of nature but of nurture. We place limits on ourselves as the result of negative experiences from our childhood and the influence of authority figures.
The Freedom Mind The biological freedom mind gives us signals of hunger to eat, thirst to drink, and desire to procreate. In modern times, we also have cultural drives for power through career, enjoyment through play, and purpose through spiritual practice.
When our limiting mind and freedom mind are in homeostatic balance, all is good. We live in harmony with the world, effectively solving problems as they arise. But when our freedom mind and limiting mind fall out of balance, all kinds of afflictions arise. The limiting mind tends to feed on itself in a downward spiral. Placing blame on others or on yourself for the material in your limiting mind only serves to strengthen it.
The second step in overcoming the source of our anxiety is to bring it out of unconscious darkness and into the light of our conscious awareness. Only then can we begin to dismantle it, see how it works, and create procedures to nullify it. The limiting mind also expresses itself through physical sensations.
When a potential threat registers on your radar, the acute stress response also known as the fight-or-flight response releases adrenaline into your system.
This hormone increases your breathing and heart rate; constricts blood vessels; tenses muscles; dilates pupils; elevates your blood sugar level; and weakens your immune system. In your Day 1 reading assignment, several limiting beliefs were disproven. These are the kinds of rational responses your freedom mind can use when the limiting mind rears its ugly head.
In the past, nervousness has given me the energy I needed to perform at my best and feel good about myself. Then write down corresponding freedom mind responses that empower you.
Use the word you for the scripts of your limiting mind, and the words I and me in your freedom mind responses. This will help you disassociate from your limiting mind and associate more closely with your freedom mind.
Write them on a single sheet of paper. Then read them out loud with conviction during your morning or evening freedom mind ritual, and run them through your mind over the course of the day. Once you start to feel the beneficial changes, switch to another set of affirmations according to your new needs. For example, auditory submodalities include volume, pitch, tempo, and timbre.
At the same time, give your freedom mind a strong, low- pitched, calm, nearby voice. Consider making it the voice of someone you respect: a mentor, an actor, or your future best self. This process is exactly what trainers instruct top athletes to do to master their game. Visually, put your mental pictures and movies through the same filters.
First, overpower the images of failure in your limiting mind with the successful images of your freedom mind. Change a picture of getting ignored to one of being adored; change a picture of being rejected into a bright, vivid visualization of a beautiful woman pressing her phone number into your palm.
Now change the submodalities. Make the images in your limiting mind small, distant, black-and-white, slow-moving, blurry, and dark. Whenever your limiting mind images pop up, instantly replace them with large, bright, sharp, colorful pictures of successful situations. Associate with these images by seeing them through your own eyes. Let Go of Your Outcome One of the biggest problems men have with approaching women is magnifying the meaning of the interaction and focusing too intently on achieving one specific outcome— whether it be exchanging phone numbers, making out, having sex, or beginning a romantic relationship.
Emotionally detaching from the outcome—while rationally working toward your goal—will significantly alleviate your anxiety.
This is why the Stylelife Challenge offers small, easy- to-accomplish goals rather than large, unlikely ones. People can be random, unpredictable, chaotic creatures.
And sometimes you may truly be surprised. So why constrain the possibilities of a new encounter by being dependent on a particular outcome? Remove Failure from Your Vocabulary The word failure has different meanings for different people. To most people, failure means approaching and being rejected. My definition of failure is quitting, giving up, or never approaching at all. Do you feel an emotional sting?
Why do we value her opinion over theirs? You guessed it: the limiting mind. Practice the Crash and Burn Strategy If, after reading this, you still have a crippling fear of social rejection, then go out and try to get rejected.
Every accomplished social artist I know has a ton of rejections under his belt. And that is why I succeed. I took a student out once and tried to get us rejected to help him past his fears. The conversation went something like this: ME: Hey! How are you doing? Could you blow us out? We need to get blown out. THEM: Huh? Not at all! We ended up having a pleasant conversation for forty-five minutes, after which we exchanged contact information.
Feel free to prove it to yourself. Next time you see someone you want to talk to, open your mouth and say the first thing that comes to mind. Then you can adjust your attitude to expect nothing and prepare for everything. Or, as the poet Samuel Hazo puts it: Expect everything, and anything seems nothing. Expect nothing, and anything seems everything.
If there were a single sentence that magically made women fall in love or lust, every man would be using it. Most of what people call pickup lines are actually comedic one-liners that were never legitimately used to meet women in the first place.
What does exist is a specific sequential process that can be used to develop a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman.
And this process begins with the opener, perhaps the most important part of the interaction. Your task is to turn to your Day 7 Briefing and read the field guide to openers before beginning the next mission.
Choose a topic that is likely to capture the interest of most people. It can be a meaningful, debate- inspiring subject based on a relationship or spiritual crisis, or it can be a specific, trivial subject based on a popular culture, travel, health, or social customs query. For example, I was having a debate with a friend one day over the names of the oceans.
Okay, how many continents are there? Right, seven. And how many oceans? Okay, five. My friend and I have been stuck on this all day. We can only come up with four. Make sure your attitude about whatever you ask is positive and that you avoid discussing anything that might reflect badly on you, such as creepy topics like serial killers or insecure questions about yourself. It is not necessary to have three successful interactions; just three approaches.
If any went well, write down the reasons you believe they worked. Approach 1: Approach 2: Approach 3: Now review your list. If so, cross them out and replace them with an error you may have made. Then write down a suggestion for what you could have done differently to make the approach more successful. Answer: countless times. Usually, the scenario ends like this: Slowly she starts looking around the bar, losing interest. The guy makes a desperate move and asks for her phone number.
Game over. Why does this happen? The comedian Chris Rock knows why. The following guide includes the basics of using and developing these openers.
It serves as a vehicle for you to display your personality. There are many different types and classes of openers. And even then they may not always work. I prefer indirect openers because, when performed correctly, they work 95 percent of the time.
And those are pretty good odds in this game, or any game. Most indirect openers are premeditated and scripted. For now, though, think of indirect scripted openers as training wheels—ones that work so well many guys never want to remove them. Before the Opener The game begins before you open your mouth. Because the initial approach is such a critical moment, everything from your body language to your energy level takes on extra significance.
Here are a few points to keep in mind when approaching a woman or a group of strangers: Always have something better to do than meeting women. Everyone wants to be with the most popular person in the room. From the second you walk in, be engrossed in an animated conversation with your friends.
0コメント